My Life in WordsCheck in regularly for encouragement, advice, suggestions or just a good laugh.
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At different times in our lives, we may find ourselves seeing things differently than usual, or even wondering what is going on more than usual. Given the year long global pandemic that we have all been experiencing, this has certainly been an interesting season in life. My family and I have experienced a tremendous amount of fun and good times together during this time. We have also experienced a bit of questioning. We have wondered... What is next for our lives? Where will find ourselves in the coming months with our plans to move? What does life look like vocationally going forward? What does ministry look like? Along the way, Dagney and I have come up with a few awesome ideas, of which a couple of them we are following through with fervently. With one of the ideas, we find ourselves running full steam ahead without really thinking there are any downsides or potential risks. With one of the other ideas, which I was working on yesterday, I suddenly found myself questions things... Wondering about the potential setbacks and reasons it may not work. Fortunately, right around this time when I started to voice some of these concerns, Dagney was right there to ask me “why am I staring at the waves?” Right away I understood her reference and what she was trying to tell me. We all know the story that takes place in Matthew 14:22-33. This is the story about Peter walking on the water towards Jesus. If you don’t know the story, you really need to read it... The point I am trying to make from the story is when Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus, starts to stare at the wind and the waves and begins to sink. After taking Peter’s hand and pulling him back up, Jesus said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Doubt, this is the word that I am talking about right now. For some people that are non-believers, it isn’t hard to understand why they may have doubts from time to time. But, for those of us that are believers, why do we sometimes find ourselves doubting? We have put our faith and trust into the hands of God who created us and yet we can still doubt from time to time? Why? I personally have doubts from time to time... I believe all Christians have doubts from time to time. After all, faith requires doubt in order to be faith. I think that maybe this is a topic that people don’t talk enough about because it is maybe considered faithless to have doubts. However, I believe this is not the case. Some people think doubt is unforgivable, but it isn’t. God doesn’t condemn people if they question him. Job and David both repeatedly questioned God, but He didn’t condemn them for it. There is the account of the boy that Jesus heals in Mark 9:14-27: And when He came to the disciples, He saw a great multitude around them, and scribes disputing with them. Immediately, when they saw Him, all the people were greatly amazed, and running to Him, greeted Him. And He asked the scribes, “What are you discussing with them?” Then one of the crowd answered and said, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a mute spirit. And wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it out, but they could not.” He answered him and said, “O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me.” Then they brought him to Him. And when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth. So He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you, come out of him and enter him no more!” Then the spirit cried out, convulsed him greatly, and came out of him. And he became as one dead, so that many said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. The key here is the fact that the father said to Jesus “IF there is anything you can do.” The father clearly “believed” that Jesus could help his boy. But, that he said “if” there is anything you can do, suggests there was doubt. That didn’t keep Jesus from healing the boy and Jesus certainly didn’t rebuke the father for having even an ounce of doubt.
When in prison John the Baptist sends messengers to Jesus to ask “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?” (Matthew 11:3) In John 1:29 John had said “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In vs 34 he says “I have seen and testified that this is the Son of God.” There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that John knew that Jesus was the Messiah. However, he had been in prison for a long while at this point. Also, Jesus was being rejected by the leaders of Israel: the Pharisees, the Sadducees, and the Sanhedrin. Given all of the surrounding circumstances, it is understandable that John the Baptist would have some doubts. What was Jesus response to all of this? We see the answer in Matthew 11:4-11. Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.” As they departed, Jesus began to say to the multitudes concerning John: “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? But what did you go out to see? A man clothed in soft garments? Indeed, those who wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses. But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I say to you, and more than a prophet. For this is he of whom it is written: ‘Behold, I send My messenger before Your face, Who will prepare Your way before You.’ “Assuredly, I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. Once again, Jesus did not rebuke for this moment of doubt. Jesus loved John the Baptist and knew the trials that he was suffering at the moment. We of course cannot talk about doubt without talking about Thomas. Many people have referred to him at times as “doubting Thomas.” But, was this amazing person deserving of this name? Thomas was actually a brave man. We see in the story told in Matthew 11:1-16 about the death of Lazarus, it says in vs 5-8, Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was. Then after this He said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to Him, “Rabbi, lately the Jews sought to stone You, and are You going there again?” It was Thomas who said in vs 16 “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.” What an incredibly brave response from Thomas. We also know that Thomas was incredibly devoted to Jesus and would follow him anywhere. However, he did ask questions from time to time so he could fully understand what Jesus was saying. In John 14:1-6 we see where it says: “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know. Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. He asked this question because he did believe everything Jesus told him to be true. John 20:24-25 is where the famous nickname “doubting Thomas” comes from. It says: Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” What we need to understand is the heart of what was going on at the moment. Thomas was broken hearted. It wasn’t for lack of faith that he couldn’t believe. He wanted to believe. But, because of the state of his heart at the moment, he simply couldn’t believe given all that had recently transpired and how it broke his heart to have witnessed the death of Jesus. History has given him the name doubting Thomas as we look down upon him for this. But, Jesus did not look down on him. We see in John 20:26-28 Jesus lovingly speaks with Thomas: And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.” And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” In this case, Thomas’ initial doubt actually led to a deeper unshakable faith. This can happen with us as well if we have doubt in a certain situation, only to see God’s hand at work when everything works out the way we hope and pray for it to. Doubt in and of itself is not sinful. It can be dangerous by potentially leading us to making bad decisions. Doubt can cause issues in other ways as well. What it really comes down to is us making decisions based on our faith and not our doubts. Jesus said “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” Of course people will have doubts from time to time. Doubts about health of a loved one, finances, their future plans, etc. It can be about anything. Even believers will have these doubts occasionally. But, it is our faith that keeps us on the right path. This all reminds me of a story we have likely all heard in some way shape or form over the years. It has been told many ways... There was a small farming community that had been experiencing a terrible drought. The crops were dying in the fields and everyone was very worried because this is how they made their living. The pastor of the local church called a special prayer service for all the people of the town to gather in front of the church and spend some time agreeing in faith that God would send some rain. Yet, only one man came with an umbrella in his hands. Everyone there must have had some degree of faith that God would bring the rain if they prayed for it. But, all of them must have had some degree of doubt as well. Only one man’s faith was strong enough in this case to trust God enough that it helped him not have any doubt in his mind that the rain would come.
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